The perfectionism trap

I am the kinda person who likes getting things right the first time. If I am trying something new it takes me a while to be content with the result because I want to make sure it’s perfect. I was also the girl in high school who never answered questions in class because I did not want to say the wrong thing. Okay so it is also because I am a bit of an introvert! 😜 I was so darn convinced that mistake equaled failure and failure was something I couldn’t possibly bounce back from. I allowed these fear & anxiety to rule my life for so long.

The thing about perfectionism is that it feels right. It feels like a noble thing to pursue. What a lie! I get it, the idea of things turning out perfectly or every plan being executed flawlessly is tempting. Don’t fall for it though because the thing is perctionism can be poisonous and paralyzing. It seeps into your heart and mind and somehow you are convinced that nothing you will ever do is good enough. Good enough to share. Good enough to be proud of. To celebrate. Life without celebration sounds incredibly dreary doesn’t it. When it feels like you have nothing to toast about. I prefer to drink champagne and eat macaroons! (Okay so maybe my budget right now is more of starbucks drink kinda celebration but you get my meaning).

It is not humility to tell yourself lies. Lies that you will never be good enough. Or smart enough. Or be a fantastic cook because you tried it once and failed. Because some of us don’t know how to boil potatoes. But you learn. Your mama teaches you how to feed yourself and your dad shows you the steps involved in good coffee making. Then you realize that although being a chef is probably not in the cards for you; you are actually capable of feeding yourself!

Sometimes I wish I could go back and see myself as a baby right about the time when I learned how to walk. To see how many times I fell before i learned how to walk. To see that falling down did not mean that I was never going to walk again. No it is actually the opposite. Falling meant that I could get up and get better. Learn and move on. Perfectionism says don’t bother. Don’t bother learning how to walk or read or write because you might not be perfect at it. Can you see how ridiculous that sounds? To not do something because you are afraid you won’t be perfect at it the first time you try?

Stop listening to the lie that perfectionism is this noble thing to strive after. No I would rather you pursued getting better. That you gave your best. That you seek progress. Don’t give perfectionism room in your heart. Take it from me once you listen to the voices of not being good enough it is incredibly hard to shake them off. Not at all like T. Swift seems to think. It takes practice this business of ignoring lies BUT you must do it.

Love. B 🙂

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